I AM DIETING!!

Hello everybody, it is nice to be back blogging again after all this time!

I have been "mad crazy busy" as Americans say. Me and my lesbiene partner Cheryl have bought our own home out here in our secret location in America. I have had to take on a second job to help to pay the mordgage which has taken up a lot of time. I am working as a short order cheffe at an American diner, which is very stressfull and hectic. Still, all the extra money is a great help, especially as it is Christmas!!!

The only problem is that I have been sneakily tucking into a lot of fried food that is left over from the meals, and as a concequence I have put on a lot of weight. Even Cheryl was saying that I had "love handle's" so I have decided to do something about it!

Even though so many American's are fat, I do not want to end up being so enormous that I get stuck in the doors of buses and cars, as many Americans do. So I have been eating healthy salads and "smootheys" and to spurr me on I have stuck a picture of the avatarr from THE GIRL WITH THE ONE TRACK MIND on my fridge door - the one where she is wearing a rubber dress and readlng the Shaggy Bog Stories book. Hopefully, I will loose so much weight that I will have a picture of me wearing a rubber dress, reading the Paul Potts Autobiography "This Is Me - The Real Paul Potts" in a few months time, and I will post the picture on here!! Fingers crossed that it all goes well!

NEW TALENT AT LAST!!!

In my last post, I may have give you the impression that I am living in the past because I like television shows like "Some Mothers Do Have Them!!!!", but this is not always the case.

I am now fourty five, but I like to "keep up with the times", although I do not keep up with the music or the fashions as much as I used to. There is a shopping "mall" (or shopping centre as they are known in Britain) near to us but I don't go shopping for "way-out" clothes there!

However, I am always open to new ideas and take the advice of my young neieces and nephews in Britain, who keep in touch with me because of the internet.

I do not always agree with their tastes in music, or they with mine! They do not like Tears For Fears and I do not like My Chemistry Romance or Blink 247, who are their great favourites!

However, this wonderful clip on "You Tubes" was recommeded to me by my neiece Kylie in Leek, Staffordshire, who says "this might be to your taste Auntie Glen LOL, the bloke that won this only won because all the voters thought he was a bit simple and they felt sorry for him, LMFAO."

I think this is a little harsh, because although he is a little strange looking, he is a wonderful singer - the best I have heard since Roland Orzabal!

His name is Paul Potts and this is him on "You Tubes"



The programme was called "Britain Has Talents" and for once they are right, even if one of the judges is the horrible Simon Cowls who never has a good word to say about anybody. My friend from the TEARS FOR FEARS EXTREME forum, Kelvin, once auditoned for Pop Idol singing "Mad World" and Simon was extremely cruel to him!

However, the lead up to the winning result on this show is very exciting. It is obvious that the man with the ventriloqwist dummy is shaking his head and knows he will not win, and the wrapping group look very surly, as if the world owes them a living. However, Paul Potts is a born star and I love his version of the Pavvarotti song "Nissan Dormer". That song reminds me of my ex husband Clive watching the 1990 World Cup and not talking to me for a month! However, I think that Paul Potts is a better singer than Pavaroti, and, as his LP has got to number one in the British charts I think he will go on to be bigger than the Beatles - although he is not better than Tears For Fears!!!! LOL, as my neiece would say!

OOH, BETTY!!!

The last post was about the late comedienne, Peter Kay, which inspired me to think to myself "what is my favourite comedy of all time?"

Well, I have to say that there is very little on the television now that makes me laugh at all - well, apart from the fact that I don't have a television out here in my secret lesbiene love nest in America!

But that is not the only reason - it is because there is not much these days which is funny without being rude, disgusting or hateful towards people.

There is too much nastiness about today about people who cannot answer back or who bring joy to millions, such as Parris Hilton, Brittany Spears, David Beckam (a great embassedor for Britain in my opinion!) and other very famous people. They are all seen as objects of ridicule but why??? The reason today's so-called comediennes laugh at them is because they are all jealous!

For me, the funniest comedy all comes from the 1970's, when there was no swearing or filth.

If you had to ask me what I would have to chose as the funniest part of a comedy programme ever was, it was this:



Wonderful Frank Spencer on "Some Mothers Do Have Them"!!!! My mother was at the recording of this programme and as you can hear on the clip, everyone was in histerics!! She said that all of the audience looked at each other in excitement when they watched this bit of the show - they new it was going to be one of the all-time greats and they would be able to say to their grandchildren - "I was there!" (if they were didn't die before they could see their grandchildren or if they didn't already have grandchildren).

In those days the BBC could not afford to get stuntmen, so brave Frank, played by Michael Crawford, had to do all his own stunts.

My favourite bit is where he says "Oooh, Betty, I have been articulated!!!!!" Just saying that to myself makes me fall on the ground in histerics!

Oh the memories! Click on the "You Tubes" clip to bring all the laughter flooding back!

I AM BACK!!!!!

I am glad to be back in the world of blogging after wrestling my blog away from the awful Mrs Prentiss. I know many of you will mourn her passing, but she was a viscous old woman who deserved her fete. You do not know her like I did.

However, it has come to my notice, from a comment made on the previous post, that the comedian Peter Kay has died. As we do not have a television at the moment or get British newspapers where I am living in my lesbien love nest, I was a little shocked to say the least.

Peter was, along with the Ross family, part of one of the "television" families! All his relatives are famous! They include his brother Vernon, who lives next door to him, Gordon Kay who was in the 1980's comedy Hello Hello I Was Just Pissing By Your Door and Jay Kay of Jamarqwai the pop group.

It is a shame that somebody so young should die needlessly at such a young age. Still, nobody dies in vein. His death will serve as a warning to people who overeat. It can only lead to heart problems and probably an early death.

It is good to be back.

IN MEMORIAM

Mrs Betty Prentiss, 5th January 1928 - 18th April, 2007

REAL POETRY

Well, what a disaster it was asking Tony Adams to contribute some poetry to this weblog!

However, we all learn from our mistakes. Wasn't he an old miseryguts? If men had all been like that when I was young we would never have won the war!

Still, a number of readers phoned or wrote to me to say that they knew what "real" poetry was. Many of them agreed with me that Patience Strong is the best poet of all time. I'm so glad that many of you feel the same way!

I would particularly like to thank reader Mr Barry Onions, who lives in a village in the West Country. He suggested the poem "Desiderata" is one of the finest ever written. I have to agree with him. It really is a "feelgood" poem, as they say, and very inspiring.

You can read the words here. Aren't they great? I particularly like the advice to "avoid loud and aggressive persons". This is so true! I work in a sweetshop, and find that a lot of the children of today are loud and aggressive. Some of them even ignore the notice on the front of the door saying that only two children at a time can come in to the shop!

There is also a lovely interpretation of the words set to music, spoken by Les Crane, who has what we used to call a "dark brown" voice. I must say, I generally don't like much modern pop music, apart from the Cliff Adams Singers or Edmundo Ross. The awful Glenda tried to persuade me that the pop group Tears For Fears were "music". You call that load of shouting and noise music?! However, this song is very easy on the ear. The video here has lots of lovely images of youngsters. It's only when I realise that in a few years they'll be the sort of little horrors who cause so much carnage in my sweetshop that I begin to shudder.

Still, don't let that put you off.

Yours faithfully,
Betty Prentiss

FRIGHT IN BRIGHT WHITE LIGHT

We share blood
We share veins
We share vanity
To hide our pain.

We share secrets
Stories untold
To the vast majority
Wrongdoings and weaknesses
Faults manifold.

We wear masks
Hiding ugly intentions
Covering our lies
Or our evil inventions.

Try as we might
The truth shines bright
Behind the armour
It shines bright white.

Copyright Tony Adams Poetry (UK) Ltd.
Published by Tony Adams, 2nd February 2007, England.

IN THE QUIET HOURS

IN THE QUIET HOURS

In the quiet hours
Just before dawn
As the birds sing
The darkness washes over me,
A pain that never ends.
I think of life's highway,
Its twists,
Its turns
And its hidden bends.

LIFE
Is not a rehearsal
But LIFE
Squeezes all
The joy
From
Us
At times.


Copyright Tony Adams Poetry (UK) Ltd.
Published by Tony Adams, 2nd February 2007, England.